Monday, February 12, 2018

The Raw Exposé: Concerto No. 5 - The Ballad of Braun Strowman (2-12-2018)


By: Keila Cash

Date: 2-12-2018
Location: SAP Center in San Jose, California
All About That Bass: Braun Strowman singing bars on bars on bars.
Welcome to the Elimination Chamber Second Chance Sweepstakes: There must be a winner. Or two…



·        Raw kicked off with John Cena waxing poetically about main eventing WrestleMania. However, that dream could be shattered if Cena doesn’t win the Elimination Chamber match in two weeks. He wanted to prove the naysayers wrong by making the impossible possible by surviving the Chamber and beating Brock Lesnar for the Universal Championship at Mania.

·        The Miz came out to remind Cena that it wasn’t 2013. Miz scoffed at the notion that Cena could beat Lesnar because he is the founder of Suplex City after The Beast destroyed him at SummerSlam three years ago.

·        Miz claimed he had a better shot at being a dual Champion because he wasn’t afraid to cross the line in order to get ahead. Cena admired Miz for speaking his mind, but he didn’t give him a snowball’s chance in hell of beating Lesnar at the biggest show of the year.

·        Cena challenged Miz to match with the loser entering the Chamber first. Miz turned him down, but it was a ruse as Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel blindsided Cena.

·        Miz accepted Cena’s challenge and called for a referee. Kurt Angle came out to make the match official as the opening segment came to an end.

·        John Cena defeated The Miz with a Super AA in a very good match. The action was hard-hitting and physical throughout as both men kicked out of the other’s finisher. Michael Cole noted that Cena has a 3-3 record inside the Chamber with one of those wins coinciding with him entering the match first. Cena’s Road to WrestleMania would be hard, but manageable based on his .500 Chamber record.

·        Cena went up to the top rope, but Miz knocked him on the turnbuckle to set him up for the Skull Crushing Finale. Cena blocked Miz which led to the finish moments later.

·        This was a strong way to kick off the show. Over the past few weeks, Cena has been treated like another guy on the roster. This week, he got a chance to verbalize his feelings heading into the Elimination Chamber PPV. Cena wants to main event WrestleMania because it’s the one night of the year where dreams are born and legends are made. If he doesn’t win the Chamber match, he doesn’t have a guaranteed spot at the biggest show of the year. The notion of Father Time catching up to Cena could be a great storyline heading into Mania if he fails to punch his ticket to New Orleans in two weeks.

·        The Miz played his part well as he openly admitted that he was willing to cheat in order to get ahead. Honesty is the best policy…


·        The Revival defeated Gallows and Anderson when Scott Dawson pinned Karl Anderson with the Shatter Machine. Dash and Dawson attacked Gallows and Anderson from behind which gave them the unfair advantage before the referee rang the bell. The match was fine, but the constant 50/50 booking is doing both teams a disservice at the moment.

·        Kurt Angle made a couple of announcements that have Elimination Chamber and WrestleMania ramifications. Angle announced that Jason Jordan underwent minimally invasive surgery that will prevent him from competing at Mania. A few fans cheered at Jordan’s injury which was beyond tasteless. Angle called them out on it, but he was met with a mixed reaction.

·        Things got better once Seth Rollins came out and explained that he was in Jordan’s shoes a couple of years ago when he missed WrestleMania 32 due to injury. Rollins was tired of being a part of Monday Night Raw. He wanted to be the centerpiece of the show. 

·        Rollins wanted a spot inside the Elimination Chamber. Angle noted that he couldn’t change the Fatal 4-Way Match on a whim. Rollins agreed and wanted to make the bout a Fatal 5-Way. Angle polled the audience and made the match official for later tonight as the segment came to end.

·        The second under the radar announcement from Angle was Ronda Rousey appearing at the Elimination Chamber PPV to sign her Raw contract. The crowd reaction was mixed, but I expect the Las Vegas fans to be a bit more receptive towards Rousey because UFC’s business roots are firmly planted in Sin City which should create an interesting atmosphere, to say the least.

·        Bayley reversed the Hometown Curse when she defeated Sasha Banks with the Bayley-to-Belly from the middle rope in a very good match. Bayley and Sasha have squared off against each other on the main roster over the past couple of years, but they always wrestled tentatively because both ladies were babyfaces. That dynamic went out the window tonight as The Boss heeled it up while Bayley was the Hometown Girl through and through. For the third week in a row, the women’s division delivered the goods which nice to see heading into the first-ever Women’s Elimination Chamber match.

·        Bayley tried to hug it out with Sasha after the match was over, but Nia Jax ruined the Hallmark Moment when she laid them out with a pair of Samoan Drops.

·        Charly Caruso asked Jax why she interjected herself into a situation that didn’t concern her. Jax clapped back by stating that she laid out the two women who almost beat Asuka in seconds while she vowed to end Asuka’s winning streak in similar fashion at the Chamber PPV in a couple of weeks. Her explanation totally made sense while putting Caruso in her place at the same time. Good for her.

·        Meanwhile, I liked how WWE delayed Sasha and Bayley hugging it out in the ring. There should be a hint dissension between both ladies heading into the Chamber match. By doing this, it leaves the door open for Banks’ heel turn which should lead to a full-on feud with Bayley heading into WrestleMania. It’s happening a year too late, but I digress…

·        Asuka is so next level that she has a By-The-Numbers video package detailing her badassery.

·        Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville defeated Mickie James and Alexa Bliss when Rose pinned James with the Facebuster in a decent match. Paige got involved down the stretch when she distracted Bliss long enough for Deville to pull her off the ring apron which set up the finish moments later.

·        She ordered her Absolution sisters to attack James after the match was over, but Bliss made the save which falls in line with the goal of keeping her frenemies close heading into the Chamber match in a couple of weeks.

·        Elias’ concert was interrupted by Braun Strowman. Strowman grabbed a big ass bass and immediately broke the strings. He was on the verge of breaking character, but he managed to sing his ditty before kicking Elias’ ass. As Elias was crawling up the ramp, Strowman smashed the bass over The Drifter’s back as the crowd popped something fierce.

·        Outside of the Mixed Match Challenge and the Elf Spoof during the holidays, Strowman has rarely shown his comedic side on broadcast television. He is becoming a well-rounded performer which speaks well for his future. Strowman can bring the funny while scaring the shit out of people at the same time. It’s a win-win situation!

·        Roman Reigns defeated Sheamus with a Spear from midair in a good match. This bout was in danger of being hijacked by the fans when they started up a Rusev Day chant after the commercial break. However, both men maintained their composure and delivered the goods down the stretch as the last five or six minutes featured hard-hitting action and crazy near falls that popped the crowd.

·        Cesaro tried to get involved, but Reigns knocked him over the barricade with a Superman Punch. This set up the finishing sequence as the match avoided the dreaded 10:30 Lull Period of Death. For now…

·        The Fatal 5-Way Match featuring Bray Wyatt, Matt Hardy, Apollo Crews, Seth Rollins, and Finn Bàlor ended in controversy when Rollins and Bàlor pinned Wyatt at the same time. The referee counted to three like an idiot and had the nerve to admonish both men for not claiming the win based on his bullshit decision. Raw went off the air with Michael Cole wondering who won the match as Rollins, Bàlor, and the dumbass ref argued in the ring.

·        This was a good match, but it lacked crowd heat during the last few minutes. Some fans tried to start a “CM Punk” chant early on, but they were quickly hissed down. Everyone got a chance to shine, but the flat finish left a lot to be desired.

·        In some ways, WWE telegraphed the outcome as the announcers kept talking about this being the last chance for someone to possibly punch their ticket to WrestleMania. Based on what happened tonight, Kurt Angle will probably book Rollins vs. Bàlor with the winner getting the last spot in the Chamber. Short of both men sharing a pod, this is the best way out a ludicrous situation. The match should be great, but this was such a shitty way to get from Point A to Point B.

·        To maintain the integrity of my original thoughts, I am breaking some news that happened after Raw went off the air. Kurt Angle announced that Rollins AND Bàlor earned a spot in the Elimination Chamber. For the first time ever, there will be a seven-man Chamber match. This blockbuster news should’ve been announced on television, but the match should be great considering the talent involved. The end of the main event was still a bullshit soufflé, though.

·        Overall, I thought tonight’s episode of Raw was decent at best. This show was trending towards being pretty good until the main event. The dreaded 10:30 Lull Period of Death reared its ugly head as the Fatal 5-Way left a bitter taste in my mouth. The booking of that match damn near ruined the show. Fortunately, the first 2 ½ hours was strong as the in-ring action ranged from solid to very good. The Braun Strowman-Elias Dual Concert was the best thing on the show from an entertainment standpoint while Sasha Banks vs. Bayley win Match of the Night honors.

·        Also, WWE did nice job hyping the Elimination Chamber PPV by running down the key matches on the card. These points were hammered home to maximum effect until the company dropped the ball during the main event. Now that the situation has been rectified via social media, here’s hoping next week’s go-home show in Phoenix, Arizona is a nice make-good after tonight’s ho-hum ending. Fingers crossed!




On that note, this wraps up another edition of The Raw Exposé. I hope you enjoyed it and I will be back tomorrow night with a brand new installment of The SmackDown Files. See you later, boys and girls! 

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